So there was this guy… a typical love story ending in a broken heart.

I lived in New Zealand for a year. I started out that year with a guy back home, broke it off, whored around a while and eventually settled down to do a ski season. After sleeping around a bit (and loving every minute of it) I turned all my attention to the new DJ at work. We hooked up straight away and stayed together… for 6 months. I followed him to the beach when summer hit. It was a real life summer romance. We worked, lived, played together. I was infatuated. I knew it had to end, but I kept my hopes up for a reunion. We talked about it, meeting up halfway in Thailand the next summer. When I had to leave I cried so much, it broke a small peice of my heart. I whispered “I love you” as he turned around and walked away from me without a tear at the airport.

We kept in touch via email. W swapped naughty pictures, we talked about our future holiday in Thailand… sunshine, sand, sex. I thought about moving back to New Zealand, talked about it with my old boss. I imagined it would work out perfectly. All of a sudden it all stopped. The emails, the plans, the hopes. I had my whole trip planned, I was ready to leave home again to meet this boy I was so in lust with. That was in November 2010. I haven’t heard from him since. I didn’t even need to see him to have him break another little peice of my heart.

I cried. I got angry. Then I felt so used, so fucking shitty that I let myself hope and dream of a happy ending. Again. This wasn’t the first time and it wasn’t the last. A month or so later Facebook told me he had a girlfriend. Some red head with a big mouth. It didn’t hurt as much then, but I was furious that he never had the balls to tell me straight. I recieved a hacked email from his hotmail today and decided to send him one last peice of my mind. It’s finally over I guess, for me. It was over for him a long time ago. I think this is adult enough seeing as I want to tell him to fuck off and die, but I hope he will at least read it and understand he was in the wrong. The sarcasm flows pretty thick.

Gee, I almost thought you emailed me back on Hotmail, turns out your account has just been hacked. And boy I’d like to know what happened to that bag, but I doubt I’ll ever find out. You know I wear my jade pretty much every day, but not because it’s from you. I just needed you to know that.

You didn’t have to lead me on you know, you coulda just said “Oh, don’t bother” and left it at that instead of making me think you wanted to hang again. That would have been fine. That was a long time ago and it doesn’t matter anymore, but I got a few of these stupid emails and thought I’d point that shit out along with them.


  1. flightlessbirdjealouswings posted this